Throwback Thursday: How Many Impossible Missions Can Tom Cruise Live Through?

"Mr. Hunt, this isn't mission difficult, it's mission impossible.

 "Difficult" should be a walk in the park for you."

- Commander Swanbeck, Mission: Impossible II

Spoiler Alert. 

If you for some reason are as behind on pop culture as I am.

No one freak out, but until last week I had not seen a single Mission: Impossible movie. This is primarily because I find Tom Cruise annoying. He's not on my top hated list (which includes, but is not limited to Nicolas Cage & Kevin Costner) but Tom Cruise just seems too similar in all of his movies. He's a short, cocky, risk tasking asshole. There's nothing wrong with those traits, but when you are those traits just slightly varied in all your films I get the idea that you are those things in real life. And Scientology? Really?

Mission: Impossible (1996): The first film to me was a little predictable. I absolutely hated the "romance" between him and the one other agent that lived. I didn't hate the film overall, but I was not impressed.

Mission: Impossible II (2000): My first reaction to this film is "Please cut your hair, Tom Cruise. Cut it now." I have no issues of men with long hair, but his was styled long. They were acting like he just hadn't been to the barber in a while, but that cut was styled that way. And it was hideous. And why is he rock climbing? My second reaction was confusion because the bad guy is a nice man in Desperate Housewives for one season. (See! More proof of what it means to be a good actor, in M:II the guy is a creep, and in Desperate Housewives he is a sweet man with a wife in a coma.) Final reaction is: Okay, you know what's a good idea? Let's send the woman I just slept with back into an abusive relationship with a man who will kill her if he finds out she's using him. That will work great.

Mission: Impossible III (2006): First reaction: JJ ABRAMS? What are you doing here?! Lens flare all over the place in this film. Good job bringing Simon Pegg! And Nikita!? Second reaction: Keri Russell and Jonathan Rhys Meyers love each other in my mind because of August Rush! Third reaction: Dr. Manhattan? You aren't allowed to be the bad guy! Final thoughts: I would have less issues with this film if I hadn't found out that the romantic lead was cast primarily based on the fact that she looks like Katie Holmes. Katie had to leave Batman because Tom couldn't handle the romance, but he can make out with a woman who looks like her but isn't her? Not okay.

Mission: Impossible- Ghost Protocol (2011): What, is an IV embarrassing? Then stop making more films! I thought it was the best of all them though. More JJ, more Simon Pegg, and now Hawkeye? Perfect. Tom's hair was long again, but this time it worked. Also why did he and the female agent need to kiss? And shouldn't Tom not bond with her over dead loved ones if his loved one isn't dead? So rude. I loved that Sawyer from Lost was the dead loved one though. JJ, you have your favorites. Lastly, I hated that they climbed the glass building. No one inside happened to see one Tom Cruise scaling the building?

Overall, these films need to find a way to not always have romance be involved for the female characters and they need to be discreet. Since you are a secret organization shouldn't you NOT call attention to yourself? I am also constantly impressed by the masks. Seriously. Those things are mind blowing and stand to ruin the world.