Prepare to be spoiled.
Since I will only be repeating what everyone else has been
saying on the internet, I’m going to give my review of the show by showing you
my text conversation with my sister about it:
Sister: So Dexter
Me: Stupid. I hated it.
Sister: Me too!
Sister: I didn’t cry or feel any emotions beside what the
fuck lumberjack
Me: Same. I would have been fine with the ending if it was
just Hannah and Harrison walking. Why did we need the beard?
Sister: Even him leaving Harrison with Hannah pisses me off.
Sister: I never liked her
Me: I liked her. But I hate how much Dexter acted like he
loved Harrison. He left him alone all the time. And when Harrison was like “I’ll
miss you”, I was annoyed because Harrison should be used to Dexter not being
around.
Sister: Seriously. He have should have been more torn up
about leaving Jamie
Me: Agreed. Also, kid is the worst child actor I’ve ever
seen
Sister: Also why didn’t anyone notice Dexter steal Deb’s
body?
Me: That hurricane. Has Grey’s taught you nothing? Haha. I
was more annoyed that Bautista and Quinn let Dexter go. That was murder and
they knew it.
Basically my reaction to the finale was summed up by sister
in the line, “I didn’t cry or feel any emotions beside what the fuck
lumberjack.” Feel free to share your opinions whether in agreement or in
defense of the ending.
Moving on to spinoffs:
Hannah and Harrison
 | |||
| Daddy issues continue... |
What will become of Hannah and Harrison? Elway not being
dead has me convinced the spinoff will be about Hannah’s constant running from
him. That, combined with Harrison either just having issues with everyone in
his life abandoning him, and/or becoming a serial killer himself. This being
the spinoff will explain to me the lumberjack ending of Dexter. The writers want the option to bring Michael C Hall in for
guest appearances or maybe a starring role if the spinoff does as well as
season one of Dexter.
Will this work? Only if they do a flash forward to when
Harrison is old enough to comprehend the death of his whole family, old enough
to learn of his dad’s true identity, or just old enough to be a serial killer.
Hannah already proved she isn’t a killer by letting Elway live, and I don’t
think running from him every episode would be enough to keep anyone engaged.
But maybe the writers will prove me wrong?
Miami Metro PD:
 |
| Introducing: Even more daddy issues! |
This of all things should not be the spinoff. My only
thoughts on why it could be the plan come from the introduction of Maskua’s
daughter. Normally in Dexter, the
random introduction of characters means more than “Surprise Motherfucker, you
have a daughter.” So naturally, I was convinced that she was somehow important
to the plot. Either a huge plot point, such as being the Brain Surgeon’s
girlfriend/accomplice/daughter or a small plot point in that she is out on the
streets or the lab and somehow exposes Dexter as a serial killer. Once she
started to work in the lab, I was certain she would recover evidence Dexter
purposely tossed out; or see him look up something on the computer. Something;
not just that she is Masuka’s daughter
who works in the lab for a few minutes.
I don’t think Miami Metro as it stands will be a good follow
up to what we had in Dexter. There needs to be more to it than just a police
department in Miami. The characters we have now, including Masuka’s daughter
aren’t enough to be entertaining. Maybe a flash forward to Harrison returning?
Or a flash back to when Harry joined the force?
The Death of Trees:
 |
| No daddy issues here! |
My favorite possible choice of a spinoff is just Dexter being
a serial killer of trees.
Actually my favorite possibility is there being no spinoff
at all, but feel free to share your thoughts and theories.
 |
| They really can't. Goodbye forever, Dexter. |
