Trash Talk Tuesday: Review of Dexter's "Remember the Monster's?" and Theories on Spinoff Ideas

Prepare to be spoiled.

Since I will only be repeating what everyone else has been saying on the internet, I’m going to give my review of the show by showing you my text conversation with my sister about it:

Sister: So Dexter

Me: Stupid. I hated it.

Sister: Me too!

Sister: I didn’t cry or feel any emotions beside what the fuck lumberjack

Me: Same. I would have been fine with the ending if it was just Hannah and Harrison walking. Why did we need the beard?

Sister: Even him leaving Harrison with Hannah pisses me off.

Sister: I never liked her

Me: I liked her. But I hate how much Dexter acted like he loved Harrison. He left him alone all the time. And when Harrison was like “I’ll miss you”, I was annoyed because Harrison should be used to Dexter not being around.

Sister: Seriously. He have should have been more torn up about leaving Jamie

Me: Agreed. Also, kid is the worst child actor I’ve ever seen

Sister: Also why didn’t anyone notice Dexter steal Deb’s body?

Me: That hurricane. Has Grey’s taught you nothing? Haha. I was more annoyed that Bautista and Quinn let Dexter go. That was murder and they knew it.

Basically my reaction to the finale was summed up by sister in the line, “I didn’t cry or feel any emotions beside what the fuck lumberjack.” Feel free to share your opinions whether in agreement or in defense of the ending.

Moving on to spinoffs:

Hannah and Harrison

Daddy issues continue...

What will become of Hannah and Harrison? Elway not being dead has me convinced the spinoff will be about Hannah’s constant running from him. That, combined with Harrison either just having issues with everyone in his life abandoning him, and/or becoming a serial killer himself. This being the spinoff will explain to me the lumberjack ending of Dexter. The writers want the option to bring Michael C Hall in for guest appearances or maybe a starring role if the spinoff does as well as season one of Dexter. 

Will this work? Only if they do a flash forward to when Harrison is old enough to comprehend the death of his whole family, old enough to learn of his dad’s true identity, or just old enough to be a serial killer. Hannah already proved she isn’t a killer by letting Elway live, and I don’t think running from him every episode would be enough to keep anyone engaged. But maybe the writers will prove me wrong?

 Miami Metro PD:

 

Introducing: Even more daddy issues!

This of all things should not be the spinoff. My only thoughts on why it could be the plan come from the introduction of Maskua’s daughter. Normally in Dexter, the random introduction of characters means more than “Surprise Motherfucker, you have a daughter.” So naturally, I was convinced that she was somehow important to the plot. Either a huge plot point, such as being the Brain Surgeon’s girlfriend/accomplice/daughter or a small plot point in that she is out on the streets or the lab and somehow exposes Dexter as a serial killer. Once she started to work in the lab, I was certain she would recover evidence Dexter purposely tossed out; or see him look up something on the computer. Something; not just that she is Masuka’s daughter who works in the lab for a few minutes.

I don’t think Miami Metro as it stands will be a good follow up to what we had in Dexter. There needs to be more to it than just a police department in Miami. The characters we have now, including Masuka’s daughter aren’t enough to be entertaining. Maybe a flash forward to Harrison returning? Or a flash back to when Harry joined the force?

The Death of Trees:

No daddy issues here!

My favorite possible choice of a spinoff is just Dexter being a serial killer of trees.

Actually my favorite possibility is there being no spinoff at all, but feel free to share your thoughts and theories.

They really can't. Goodbye forever, Dexter.

Watch Wednesday: Breaking Bad, Dexter and Pretty Little Liars

Spoilers for all three shows!

Each of these shows has had a big shocking turning point in the episodes for the week, so I will be discussing them in my post today! I know, Pretty Little Liars on the same list as the other two? I’m allowed to enjoy a guilty pleasure show, and I’m easily obsessive over television shows. I just have to know who killed Ali, and who A really is. Don’t judge until you at least watch the pilot. 

I’ll start with Breaking Bad, “Confessions” 

Poor manipulated Jesse finally gets a choice.

Breaking Bad this past Sunday made me incredibly proud of Jesse Pinkman. He deserved to know the truth about Walter, and he was able to discover it on his own. The man was so manipulated by Walt, I wasn’t sure he could ever get out of the abusive relationship. 

Unlike Skyler, who seems to have turned her abusive relationship with Walt back into one of equality. At least, that’s what I’m hoping is happening. I’m concerned about her continuing to stand by her man. I just do not trust Walt, or his decisions and I don’t understand why she still does. I understand love, but does Heisenberg really love? 

My theory with Breaking Bad is that Skyler gives up on him and that is why he is alone in the flash-forwards. OR hey, maybe Skyler has become the one in charge? She’s been smarter than him the whole time so I wouldn’t be surprised. 

Now for Dexter, “Make Your Own Kind of Music” 

I'm surprised he doesn't think JAMIE is his mom.

I’ve had a feeling we would find out who the Brain Surgeon actually was before the series end. The writers of Dexter always clue us in a few episodes early. However, I had assumed it would be Vogel’s husband, not son. But I also thought Oliver killed his girlfriend, silly me didn’t connect the two. 

But what shocked me the most in this episode was simply Dexter’s stupidity. The theme of this season is that Dexter being in two worlds is messing him up. But come on, Dex. He obviously saw you standing outside the window of the restaurant. He’s a smart guy. Dexter is too used to dealing with idiots. 

My theory for Dexter’s end died with Zachary. I was thinking that Dexter would teach him his ways and then be able to move on and have an actual life with Harrison. He cannot be a killer and a father. Every time he mentions how important Harrison is to him, I get annoyed. He abandons Harrison all the time. I want the show to end with him realizing that and realizing that Vogel got it wrong; he has emotions and he can love. He can give up killing as long as he knows someone is stopping the serial killers who get through the cracks. Which I wanted to be Zach, but that theory died…

Lastly and sort of least, the Pretty Little Liars finale “Now You See Me, Now You Don’t”

Logically explain the body or Ali better be a ghost.

EZRA. You creepy, teenage-girl-loving poetry snob. First off, I have to say, as much as Ezra is a creep, I like him with Aria WAY more than Jake. I hate all men on this show though. Expect for Caleb. Sorry Toby-lovers. Dude is not cute, and he has been incredibly stupid this past season. I understand mommy issues, but the boy should know the ways of A as well as the girls and he has continued to let A play him.

Moving on: the debate is whether Ezra follows his ex-girlfriend around or Ezra is Team A? I don’t like those odds, personally. Let’s say Ezra is just upset that A is still a threat. Then that means he is stalker. He followed Aria all the way to another city. I have to say, that’s not all that shocking considering he is in love with a girl that is his STUDENT. Now let’s say Ezra is Team A and I’m much more intrigued. That raises so many questions and it answers the ultimate question about Ezra from the pilot episode. The dude is actually a creep who likes teenage girls. 

My theories? I almost refuse to have any anymore. Too much, too complicated, too many variables. Basically I just think that the girls should bar themselves up in their rooms until college. 

Hope you enjoyed my summer watch list. It will continue next week sans PLL. Leave questions and comments! 

I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice when I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell I'm doing here?
I don't belong here